CAST

 

SORROW

VITAL STATISTICS

AGE: 40-ISH

GENDER: FEMALE

PROXIMITY: BOULDER, COLORADO

RACE: WHITE

SEXUALITY: HETERO

CHILDREN: SORROW’S CHILD

RELIGION: WICCA

OCCUPATION: ECO-FEMINIST, ABORTIONIST

MASCOT: WOLF

ZODIAC SIGN: ARIES

MOTTO: DO SOMETHING TODAY YOUR FUTURE SELF WILL THANK YOU FOR (LUNA BAR)

FUN FACT: WITH YOUR LONG BLONDE HAIR AND YOUR EYES OF BLUE, THE ONLY THING I EVER GOT FROM YOU WAS SORROW, SORROW.

SORROWLORI MILLER BARRETT
 

SORROWS CHILD

VITAL STATISTICS

AGE: 4 GOING ON 14

GENDER: FEMALE

PROXIMITY: INTO THE WILD

RACE: MIXED

SEXUALITY: BUDDING

CHILDREN: IMAGINARY FRIEND

RELIGION: PAGAN POETRY

OCCUPATION: PLAYING, WILDING, WEEPING

MOTTO: GOD BLESS THE CHILD THAT’S GOT ITS OWN

MASCOT: HUMAN

ZODIAC SIGN: SAGGITARIUS

FUN FACT: SORROWS CHILD WEEPS NOT FOR WHAT IS PAST, BUT ALL THE PASTS STILL YET TO COME.

SORROWS CHILDMAYA DRU
 

VITAL STATISTICS

AGE: 16

GENDER: FEMALE

PROXIMITY: TRUTH OR CONSEQUENCE, NEW MEXICO

RACE: BLACK

SEXUALITY: YES

RELIGION: YES

CHILDREN: ONE IN THE OVEN

OCCUPATION: PAGEANT QUEEN

MASCOT: LADY LIBERTY

ZODIAC SIGN: LIBRA

MOTTO: GOOD LUCK GENTLEMEN!

NOTE: RESEARCH ON CLAUDETTE COLVIN

MS. PEACE IN THE US!

MS. PEACE IN THE US!STELLA BINION
 

CANDY APPLE GREY

VITAL STATISTICS

AGE: POST-MENOPAUSAL

GENDER: FEMALE

PROXIMITY: UTAH, SALT LAKE CITY

RACE: WHITE

CHILDREN: (ESTRANGED) JANIS GREY (DENTAL HYGENIST) JIMI GREY (CHARTERED ACCOUNTANT) & PATTI GREY (FULLTIME MOM)

SEXUALITY: BORN-AGAIN LESBIAN

RELIGION: BORN AGAIN BUDDHIST

OCCUPATION: ART TEACHER/ THERAPIST/ DOULA

MASCOT: HORSES, HORSES, HORSES, HORSES

ZODIAC SIGN: AQUARIOUS

FUN FACT: SHE OWNS A WHITE STALLION CALLED “GO RIMBAUD”

NOTE: SHE FLOATED AWAY AND SHE FLOATED AWAY/ SHE LIFTER HER ARMS AND SHE FLOATED AWAY/SHE DON’T GIVE A DAMN WHAT THE OTHER GIRLS SAY/SHE LIFTED HER ARMS AND SHE FLOATED AWAY

CANDY APPLE GREYDANA MAJOR
 

HI BUTFL

VITAL STATISTICS

AGE: TWENTYSOMETHING

GENDER: QUEER

PROXIMITY: SAN FRANCISCO

RACE: ASIAN (KOREAN)

SEXUALITY: PANSEXUAL

CHILDREN: BABY BUTFL

RELIGION: THEOSOPHY

OCCUPATION: TRANSACTIVIST

MASCOT: BUTTERFLY/TIGER 

ZODIAC SIGN: ALL OF THE ABOVE

MOTTO: I’M WITH HER

HI BUTFLARAM HAN SIFUENTES
 

HELLA KITTY

VITAL STATISTICS

AGE: 14

GENDER: YOUNG-GIRL

PROXIMITY: HOLLYWOOD

RACE: BI-RACIAL

SEXUALITY: BI-CURIOUS

RELIGION: DIS-BELIEBER

OCCUPATION: POPSTAR

MASCOT: PUSS-IN-BOOTS

ZODIAC SIGN: LEO

MOTTO: I LOVE I, LIKE KITTY LOVES KITTY.

HELLA KITTYTAVIA K DAVID
 

VITAL STATISTICS

AGE: 36

GENDER: FEMALE

PROXIMITY: INTERNATIONAL JETSET

RACE: CAUCASIAN/ARAB

SEXUALITY: CULTURAL NECROPHILIAC

CHILDREN: NO LIVE BIRTHS

RELIGION: LOST

OCCUPATION: DESIGNER

MASCOT: DUCKRABBIT

ZODIAC SIGN: VIRGO

FUN FACT: HER LINE OF WELLINGTONS ARE CALLED “THE GLASTONBURY”

MOTTO: I TAKE FULL RESPONSIBILITY FOR MY ACTIONS

NOTES: FLORAL (WHITE LILY)

EUROMANCER

EUROMANCERALLISON GLENN*
 

BABY TRASH

VITAL STATISTICS

AGE: UNKNOWN

GENDER: GRRRRL

PROXIMITY: PACIFIC TRASH VORTEX

RACE: CAUCASIAN

SEXUAL ORIENTATION: DYKE

CHILDREN: NO

RELIGION: BLASPHEMY

OCCUPATION: PUNK/GLAM

MOTTO: FUCK IN THE ABSOLUTE

MASCOT: DOLPHIN

ZODIAC SIGN: CANCER/ASC. PISCES

FUN FACT: WHEN THE KIDS HAD KILLED THE MAN, I HAD TO BREAK UP THE BAND

NOTES: FISHY/UNBESCHREIBLICH WEIBLICH (IN 4 OCATAVES)

BABY TRASHKACIE LAMBERT
 

FEMME PHTHALE

VITAL STATISTICS

AGE: 80+

GENDER: MALE DRAG

PROXIMITY: NYC/ ART BASEL

RACE: JEWISH

SEXUALITY: GYNOPHOBE

CHILDREN: NO

RELIGION: SECULAR

OCCUPATION: ARTIST

MOTTO: PAINT LIKE A MAN, MAN!

MASCOT: DOBERMAN

ZODIAC SIGN: TAURUS

FUN FACT: BREAST CANCER SURVIVOR. UNDERWENT DOUBLE MASTECTOMY AND HYSTORACTOMY AND NEVER LOOKED BACK!

NOTE: STICKIES

FEMME PHTHALESOFIA LEIBY
 

VITAL STATISTICS

 

AGE: FOREVER YOUNG

GENDER: GIRLS WHO ARE BOYS WHO LIKE BOYS TO BE GIRLS

PROXIMITY: OMNI-PRESENT

RACE:YES/NO

SEXUAL ORIENTATION: BIBLIOPHILE

CHILDREN: WISE BEYOND THEIR YEARS

RELIGION: REVOLOOTON

OCCUPATION: ORACLE

MOTTO: LET’S JUST WATE AND SEE HOO WINS

MASCOT: SNAKE/OWL

ZODIAC SIGN: GEMINI

ORACLE: YES

CASSANDRA & POLYANNA

CASSANDRA & POLYANNAELEANOR ROSS
 

#IMANGIE